did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize