She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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