Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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