the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
