what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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