P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
