Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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