So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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