Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there was a trapeze. enough said
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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