Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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