guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
