then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
