How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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