I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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