We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
