I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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