Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize