More tranny stories later!
I just pynch a tree in the face
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
