The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
