I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
