Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
