doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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