everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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