just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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