Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need water and some morals
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
