I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
