I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize