soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
