Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I didn't shave. On purpose
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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