Pants 0. Shit 1.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Randomize
