I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
