some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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