dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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