what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
