DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heâ€™s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i black out too much to be "responsible"