Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
