well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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