you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
