Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think people are normalizing furries
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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