he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
