Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
