She said her name was "party"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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