try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
