ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
