how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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