i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
