Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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