Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
