THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
