Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
