So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
