i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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