My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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