I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
