If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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