I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
