You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
