i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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