I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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