you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
