When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
