is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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