Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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