No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
