That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
