I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.